My life in New York City is most accurately portrayed by a montage of me running into every restaurant and shop in the West Village, frantically begging managers and cashiers to let me use their restroom. But I am not alone. Countless other women share my pain, so let’s spare ourselves a bladder infection and consider my new app, PitStop.

Next time your big city bladder finds itself in a bind, imagine being able to pull up a magical app on your phone that lists all free restrooms in your area. (Customer-only restrooms will be included with a “$” next to them.)

PitStop can most accurately be compared to Yelp for public restrooms. Read people’s reviews, peruse through photos, find directions, store hours and the odd discount.

Restrooms will be rated based on six different categories:


Personally, I like to smell bleach before I even enter the restroom (but we’ll get to that in the scent department). Restrooms will be docked points in the cleanliness department for everything from dust bunnies to clogged toilets to excretory stains.


Using the restroom is an extremely vulnerable and private act. It is absolutely vital that you feel safe while doing so. Haven’t we all experienced a moment of panic in some shady bodega bathroom where we assumed this pee would be our last? For the more cautious PitStopper, this feature lets you know how comfortable you’ll feel relieving yourself at any given location.


My ideal restroom smells like a deliciously-clean mix of bleach and those yellow Jonathan Adlerfor Soul Cycle candles. In an ideal world, that’s what I would always smell upon relieving myself. Unfortunately, I find myself settling for public stench all too often. The “Scent” rating helps to keep picky girls like me from having to settle.


Are the sinks automatic? Do they use paper towels, or do they have an automatic hand dryer? For the eco-friendly Pit-Stopper, all these questions are answered.


How chic is this bathroom? A one-star bathroom, in terms of ambiance, is that of a single-stall dive bar bathroom half the size of a Manhattan closet with no decorations (not even entertaining writing on the walls), while a five-star looks like that gorgeous ladies lounge with the plush white couches and soft mood lighting in your favorite department store.

Bangability: Looking for a bathroom to bang in? PitStop even has its more sexually daring customers covered with the “Bangability” rating. Customers report from first-hand experience whether or not they would recommend any sort of sexual rendezvous in there.

PitStop your way into the future, because when you gotta go, you gotta go. But that doesn’t mean you can’t do it in style.

Images via Sex and the City and Marc by Marc Jacobs. See all of our past Writers Club entries — including this week’s prompt which still needs to be answered — here.